A Red Lawn

Who invented the lawnmower? I’ll bet it was a Communist. It has to be. Mowing your lawn – the process of trimming feral, individualized, off-center blades of grass so that they all may stand rigidly equal, and in unison – is the personification of Red doctrine. Heaven help us if a blade or two stands out above its brethren, embraces its uniqueness, and ruins the symmetry and the liberty of the – yes, wait for it - good old patriotic American Dream lawn. Horticulture certainly makes strange bed fellows.